New Year New ME....ntal?
So it's been a minute since I sat and wrote
And with the new year here
I feel like now is the time to get started on my goals to write more.
New Year's goals doesn't have the same ring of course
but I don't want to resolve anything nor do I want to Resolute anything either.
So why not a resolution
It sounds so official
But it is really condemning
A resolution is a statement of your intent and of your resolve
The very definition of resolute means to be unwavering in your manner
This is why when you mess up as most of us do (at least once)
we beat ourselves up
Instead of granting ourselves grace
Instead of hitting the restart button
Instead of being easy on yourself
Many beat themselves up and give up
Let's take a moment to be honest
we make resolutions because we want better in our life
The changes that we want to
make in our lives are good
Worth the change
Worth the plan
Worth the work
Maybe we should resolve not to be so hard on ourselves
Maybe we should resolve to give ourselves a fighting chance
Maybe we should resolve to not make resolutions
Goals are better
Goals can be broken down
Goals can be planned and have a higher success rate
Did you know that goals made in January are 10xs more likely to be kept at least 6 months later and isn’t that what we want - real change
I tend to talk about smart goals often so that people can plan a realistic goal.
Instead of just saying lose some weight, get specific and put an amount or a number of inches you want to lose or how many times you will exercise. If you want to save money, how much? Put a number on it and that way you can start to plan on how it can be done. If you want to repair your credit score by how much - get specific. Getting specific makes you more accountable.
Instead of making it a long term goal, lets make it measurable. Break it up into little goals so that you can celebrate little wins. Celebrate every week you go to the gym more than 2 times and if you make it 10 times in a month - treat yourself (obviously not to food but maybe a movie, book, game or a new pair or shoes). Give yourself some type of incentive or reward. Saving money, instead of eating out for lunch, make your lunch. Making a whole week? You got it - time to treat yourself to a cost effective dinner.
Make sure that your goal is attainable. If you wear a size 20, you will probably not be a size 2 in 6 months. If you have never ran further than to the bathroom, you will probably not be able to run a marathon in April. Basically, If your goal is too lofty or too rigid, your real rate of success will depend on the amount of hard core torture you decide that you really want to give yourself. You will never hear me write (I said what I said) that anything is impossible but definitely you are sabotaging your own success if your goals are far fetched or too strict.
Part of the problem is when we set goals we go super hard in the beginning and unfortunately most will run out of steam. Make sure your goal is realistic. It is not realistic to break into a full sprint on the treadmill for an hour if you have not been to the gym in over a year. The next day you will be sore - if you are able to move at all. You will declare that the goal is too hard and wallow in your defeat with your favorite ice cream. If it is too hard or too uncomfortable most will eventually quit. The goals should be broken into baby steps that can be increased or decreased (depending on the goal - i.e. stopping smoking or drinking) so that you can feel small successes.
The last part of an effective goal is to give yourself a time period to work on these smaller goals. Let’s be realistic, a year is a long time and may feel never ending without occasional check ins. How do you know if your effort is effective? I often suggest quarterly or even monthly goals with check ins to see where you are in the game. Do you need to change up what you are doing, add or subtract effort, or even change directions totally.
You are worth this effort
And again if you mess up, hit that reset button and try again the next day.