so is this coming from Love or is this Fear?
I teach a dance class at least 4 times a week. It is the time that we GLOW. For one hour in a day, we are not mothers, daughters, wives, teachers, workers, or caretakers. We are Dance Junkie Goddesses. We sweat our worries out and leave them on the floor. An important part of my class has come to be the affirmations at the end.
At first, it took a few of my DJs a while to get adjusted to doing these every class. Now - we all do them together no matter where I teach. These affirmations are specific to manifesting love in all its forms. But our main affirmation we say at the beginning and at the end...
We breathe in love
We exhale fear
It is simple but it is VERY powerful.
I have attached this VERY OLD video of the affirmation that our class uses...
So why Love and Fear?
I believe that all other emotions are either love-based or fear-based. So what does that mean? There is not an emotion that is not on the spectrum between 100% Love the middle ground and then 100% Fear.
Hate = Fear
Frustration = Fear
Sympathy = Love
Joy = Love
Now there are some tricky emotions like Grief that hurts like hell but I believe actually comes out of love. Then there is the need for attention. This is also a tricky one because it depends on why someone is seeking approval. Is it the fear of losing someone, trying to gain the approval of someone else who may not notice you or praise seeking behavior? If it falls under these categories you are acting from a place of lack or from fear.
Just to be clear - we all need attention. It is part of our human survival. I have been told that we need at least 10 physical touches and or 16 acknowledgments of our existence for us to feel normal. This is a human imperative.
When we talk about basic human needs in coaching or therapy I like to utilize the anagram HALT. Before reacting to anyone HALT your reactions and ask yourself (or them)
This actually comes in very handy when it comes to dealing with kids. If you HALT your reaction and see where the other person is coming from we might be able to better handle what is going on.
I use this system to check myself. Examining my state has absolutely stopped me from making long term fear-based decisions based on short term emotions.
Fear-Based reactions can create drama where there was none, lose opportunities that could elevate our situations, and destroy healthy relationships. So almost at all costs, examine yourself, your situation, or what is going on with someone else. Before you make a decision or move forward with an action, stop, breathe - evaluate.
Giving yourself that time before you act can help you to determine if you are justified in your actions or if you are just acting in fear. Fear literally is
So by giving yourself that time to really evaluate what is going on and you give yourself time to calm down, you take the reliability out of that evidence.
When you are calm you can ask yourself real questions and be REAL with yourself about the answers.
Fear can make a conversation with a female co-worker seem like a full affair - even if he has never given you any reason to doubt him before.
Fear can make a busy schedule sound like someone doesn’t have time for you - even if you know she is hustling trying to secure that bag (make money).
Fear can make a scheduled meeting with your supervisor feel like you are going to get fired - even if you haven’t done anything.
If you allow it to - Fear can cripple you.
Fear comes with company too - anxiety, overthinking and catastrophizing everything
And these friends are absolutely no fun. They can keep you stuck, stagnant and even living in fear - AND they can be the planting ground for even worse conditions.
So take a moment - breathe - examine and if you need to SHIFT…
Remember if you need to talk - I am here.